Strange thoughts that come and go…if open water swims were analogous to cartoon villians, what would they be?

1. The North Channel would be The Incredible Hulk. Just as the Incredible Hulk is a green, irradiated, mutated humanoid, the North Channel is a gigantic monster of a swim with jellyfish strewn about like grass on the Irish countryside. The currents of the North Channel have a strength that is suffocating to the swimmer. Like the Incredible Hulk, the North Channel has an inability to control its rage and hyper-aggressive and brutal.

2. The English Channel would be Two-Face. The world’s most famous channel can transform itself from calm to rough, from pleasant to punishing with multiple personality disorders. As the swimmer gets relentlessly pushed to the north and then to the south, the English Channel transforms itself to a criminal level, never letting up in tormenting its victims whether or not they reach the shores of France. Just as Two-Face leave things to chance and makes decisions at the flip of his two-headed coin, so too are swimmers left in fate’s hands. Will the weather be good? Will the tides be favorable? In a stereotypical obsessive-compulsive desire of Two-Face, the swimmers are left in Dover to ponder whether fate will be kind – or not – to them.

3. The Molokai Channel would be Darth Vader. Just as each evil act Darth Vader the beautifully royal blue waters amid the tropical paradise of Hawaii masks the deep issues of the Molokai Channel. Starting out in the stark tropical island of Molokai, each subsequent hour can throw increasingly more difficult currents and humungous ocean swells, jellyfish and sharks at the swimmer as the dark side of the channel rises to the surface. Like Darth Vader, the beauty of the channel is erased by the horror that can be inflicted on those who challenge its distance. But in the end, Darth Vader escapes the dark side in redemption as the swimmer pulls himself up on the magnificently gorgeous shores of Oahu.

5. The Tsugaru Channel would be Count Dracula. Just as the Tsugaru Channel is only a short distance with a veneer of of cordiality and apparent welcome, the channel can easily and quickly fly into a fit of rage and turn on the swimmer as the blood (energy) is zapped out by its turbulence, winds, eddies and currents.

Copyright © 2012 by World Open Water Swimming Association